Flash Fiction : First Day

flash fiction hero black maskAnother flash fiction challenge from Terribleminds.com, this time our challenge was to use a randomly chosen TV trope from www.tvtropes.org

Once you know what your TV trope is, you write a piece of flash fiction based on that concept. I got this one…

“The Hero has burst into the scene, has saved the girl, and is holding the villain at sword/gun-point. The villain, bewildered, demands “Who are you?” The hero responds with a Badass Boast. ”

It took me while to know where I was going to go with this, but I kinda like where it ended.

Let me know what you think, of course. After all, that is what the comments bit is for. I’ve heard tales that for everyone who reads this flash fiction and doesn’t comment, an angel gets a minor case of dermatitis, true story. So you see, you have to comment unless you want more flaky angels, and nobody wants that… do you?

Flash Fiction : First Day

‘T-minus thirty seconds’ announced the electronic voice from the speakers.

‘Finally, my wait is nearly over’ the old and frail looking man leaned back in his large leather chair and thoughtfully picked the oats out of a Chocolate Hob-nob. He glanced towards the large wall of monitors that dominated the wall of his underground facility. All the little red lights were blinking and he could hear Klaxons. That could only mean one thing, someone had broken into his facility, and was probably beating the very crap out of his staff this very moment.

He sighed, and looked back towards his machine. He loved his machine. It was everything a machine should be, it had levers, flashing lights, vials full of bubbling liquid, those weird spiral tubes, and plenty of dry-ice for that really mysterious smoky effect. ‘T-minus ten seconds’ announced the voice again, as the liquid bubbled more furiously. Well he wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

There was a loud thump on the door, then another and another. The fourth thump saw the door knocked off its hinges and fly across the room, smashing an ugly yet expensive piece of art into rubble. The masked man leaped into the air and put his fist through the bubbling machine, that fizzed and sparked, and fell silent.

Before he could protest, the hero had grabbed him by the neck. He could breath, but couldn’t manage any more than a few wheezy syllables.

‘So you think you can just do whatever you want, do you?’ said the masked man. ‘Well I won’t let you. You’ve cast your evil shadow over the city of Megatopia for too long.’

‘Who… who are… you?’ wheezed the villain, struggling to loosen the hero’s grip on his throat.

‘I’m the fist that fights for justice, I’m the shield that protects the innocent, I’m the heart that cares for the people, and more importantly I’m the foot that’s gonna kick your bony ass out of this city. I have to say Volcron I expected more from you. Where’s your robot army, where are your death cannons, where are the assorted and fiendishly dangerous traps designed to ward off the fearful or the unwary?‘

‘I’m…. I’m….’

‘What? You’re sorry? Well it’s not going to do you any good. You’ve schemed your last evil scheme. I’m taking you in. Are you coming quietly?’

‘I’m… I’m not…. Volcron’

The hero loosened his grip on the villain’s neck ‘What?’

‘I’m not Volcron. I’m Doctor Doom. You’ve broken into the wrong bloody place, you fool. Who are you, anyway?’

‘Me, oh I’m… erm, I’m Captain Courageous. It’s my first day as a superhero actually, but everything does kind of look quite evil-lair-y, you know with the guards and the black super-villain costume, plus you have that mysterious bubbling machine.’

Well, you’re about 15 years too late, I retired from being an evil super-villain years ago, those guards were my helpers. I’m not as young as I used to be and I need help… performing certain… bodily functions. Oh and that mysterious, bubbling machine is my coffee percolator, you pranny.

Captain Courageous looked over at the fizzing machine, hot brown coffee dripping on the floor. ‘Oh my god, I am so sorry. It wasn’t expensive was it?’ The Captain knelt and fumbled with the pieces of broken glass, trying to place them back on the table.

‘Just leave it!’ shouted Doctor Doom. ‘Please, leave it alone. What is this Volcron supposed have done anyway?’

The Captain stood in his hero-stance with his hands on his hips. ‘Volcron is creating a machine that will instantly evaporate all the water on earth, and syphon it into large underground wells. Once he controls all the world’s water he will be able to hold the world to ransom. I have to stop him, the world is in danger.’

‘Oh, well this Volcron does sound rather evil, evil in a sort of Machiavellian way I suppose. You should definitely stop him.’

Captain looked uneasy again ‘Yes sir, I will. Sorry sir. I’ll go now.’

‘Yes, I think you should.’

The Captain took a few steps towards the door ‘I really am sorry for all the inconvenience. I hope your helpers aren’t too hurt.’

‘Thank you, I’m sure they will be fine.’

He took another few steps towards the door ‘I’ll pick up all the costs for any damages.’

‘Yes, yes, yes’

Captain Courageous nodded his head and walked out of the lair door.

Doctor Doom looked over at the smouldering wreck of a coffee machine, and sighed again.

‘Well that was money well spent’ he said to no-one in particular, as he turned around in his leather chair and watched the wall of monitors.

After a few minutes, a large and overly muscular orderly entered the room and stood silently in the doorway.

‘Ah Bob-a-job, you missed all the fun. We had a visit from a Captain Courageous. He was very entertaining, I must say. Though now he’s gone, we have things to do.’

Bob-a-job nodded.

‘Ensure the underground reservoirs are ready, and then activate the Hydro-extractor. This planet will be a dust bowl within days.’

‘Yes, Lord Volcron’

‘Oh and make me a coffee, will you.’ Volcron cackled maniacally and grabbed himself another Hob-Nob.


8 thoughts on “Flash Fiction : First Day”

  1. I loved this. You have such an easy and accessible writing voice that really complimented this piece. I’d have happily read a few thousand words more – it was hilarious.

    I have one minor criticism (I feel qualified to hand this out as it is something I was picked up on many times before somebody decided to be constructive and actually tell me what I was doing wrong), and that is the punctuation of direct speech. I think you’ll find it helpful to read up on it and just clarify it for future works. I’d recommed you read this page, below where it says about starting new paragraphs: http://oxforddictionaries.com/words/punctuation-in-direct-speech

    I hope you don’t mind my input, but as this was an error I used to make consistently, I felt that I should offer some advice. To reiterate, I loved your story and I also have a soft spot for a good villain. I’ll be keenly anticipating your flash fiction challenges in the future.

    1. P.S. Please don’t judge the worth of my opinion based on the crappy Simpsons avatar I made nine years ago, nor on my misspelling of ‘recommend’.

    2. I always accept constructive criticism. i think the person who doesn’t is rather foolish. 🙂 I’ll have a look at that link you suggested. First I’ll try absorbing the knowledge via osmosis, then if that doesn’t work I guess I’ll read it and learn it the old fashioned way.

      I’m glad you liked it, and I much prefer writing in that style than any other, It does feel more comfortable.

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