Vending Wishes – Emote-o-Vend!

English: Snack Machine

Today’s Postaday from The Daily Post asks the following question.

“Soft drinks, electronics, nutrient-free snacks — you can get all of those from a vending machine. But what type of vending machine is sorely needed but doesn’t yet exist? Share your automated retail fantasies with us!”

To me the answer to this is simple. Scientists need to all get their heads together and find some way to devise an emotion / mental state vending machine. Vending machines where you can buy temporary, and may I also add entirely non-addictive boosts to certain emotional or mental states.

Imagine it, it would be brilliant. You’ve got an important meeting with the Directors, and you’re absolutely terrified. No problem, head to your nearest Emote-o-Vend, and buy a temporary boost to your confidence.

Or, what if you’re going out with your friends to a restaurant and you’re on a diet and you just know that when it gets to the dessert you’re going to cave in and order something fattening, that will ruin everything? One quick shot of willpower from the Emote-o-Vend and you’ve no need to worry any more.

A shot of generosity and romance and every Valentine’s Day will be a success.

A child’s birthday party could be made ten times happier by an extra shot of joy.

The options are endless.

Ah, but thinking about it. I suppose it does have a negative side which could lead into some very dangerous territory.

The entire criminal system might have to change. Could you prove a rape, if someone had their drink spiked with love and sexual attraction? Would it still count as murder if you spiked the victim’s drink with depression and hopelessness so they killed themselves?

Then we get on to the larger problems.

What if the boosts were resold by ‘emote’ dealers, cutting the emotion with something else like ambivalence or neutrality to make them go further? There could be strains of illegal emotions being sold at clubs, and young people over-dosing. Emotions would have to be classified and emote awareness would be taught at schools.

It wouldn’t be long before temporary boosts became permanent ones. At first maybe only in given situations, such as criminals taking Emote to lessen their aggression or to increase their honesty. This would be done more and more until eventually innocent people are deliberately modified for some other greater purpose. This would be no different than genetic manipulation. We’d soon be on the route to super-soldiers and programmable emotion viruses.

Hmmmm on second thoughts, I think a vending machine that dispenses scarves and gloves is a little safer. Yes, we’ll go with the Scarf-o-Matic I think. The world can’t end because of people being warm.


6 thoughts on “Vending Wishes – Emote-o-Vend!”

  1. I like that you discuss both positives and negatives for buying emotions. Another negative is that it would make it harder to know if someone is deceitful. The world would be much faker; to use your example, you don’t know if someone is genuinely choosing not to have dessert or if the willpower is from a bottle. I think you’d be questioning a lot in this case.

    The scarf machine sounds much nicer. Can it also dispense matching jewellery? 🙂

    1. It definitely is one of those world changing ideas. The more you go into the more negatives it has. Plus, all that forcing of emotions must be psychologically damaging after a while I would have thought.

      …and yes, the Scarf-o-Matic would also cater for any number of accessories as well. jewellery, hair bands, and in some of the larger machines, instantly matching bags.

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