85% Thinker

“To be, to have, to think, to move — which of these verbs is the one you feel most connected to? Or is there another verb that characterizes you better?”

For any regular visitor of this blog, this is a mind-stonkingly easy question from the Daily Prompt that any of you should be able to answer. I’m a thinker, one of the great thinkers you might say. Though not ‘great’ by way of what I think, but because of the sheer overwhelming crappy volume of things I think about.

If you need some proof then have a read at a few of these…

You see, the amount of sheer unadulterated gobbledygook that crosses my mind on a daily basis is unparalleled. Well, at least I hope it is. I hate to think there’s some other poor sod wondering the planet with a head like mine.

Thinking is, almost by definition a good thing. Every action has a thought behind it, yet I can say without doubt that not every thought has an action behind it. In fact if I was to plot the question as a pie chart it would look something like this.

Character Pie Chart

The difficulty with thoughts is that you rarely know if they are going to help you avoid bad experiences or block you from new ones. You know where you are with actions. You take the action to run across a busy road, you’ll find out pretty darn quickly if it was the wrong thing to do as a juggernaut slams into you at 60 miles an hour. A thought that stops you walking down a certain street, is that going to stop you being mugged or meeting your one true love.

Imagine if there was some way to receive a report on your thoughts, something like this.

“Mr Franklin,
Please find attached your Thought Report for September 2014.
  • Number of thoughts = 63,456,734
  • Thought to Activity Conversion rate = 12%
  • No. of incidents avoided by thought = 15 (Breakdown here)
  • No. of opportunities missed due to thinking= 76 (Breakdown here)
  • Primary Monthly Emotion = Paranoia (Breakdown here)
(If you wish to stop receiving paranoid thoughts, please contact our customer services.)”


Of course, the thought has just occurred to me (which of course it would) that the prospect of someone interrogating your mind so thoroughly may just have the teeny-tiniest of downsides. Though if the report was just created out of the ether, with no-one other than myself involved, I think it would be very useful.


11 thoughts on “85% Thinker”

  1. This made me giggle, and I reckon I have received a fair few letters like that one, but me and my paranoia have grown accustomed to each other these days 😀

  2. A great post. I like that part when you said your a great thinker. I thought “oh god he’s full of himself. “Though not ‘great’ by way of what I think, but because of the sheer overwhelming crappy volume of things I think about.” When I read that i’m like haha! Welcome to the club son! You’ll be surprised how many crappy thoughts people come up with but don’t act upon it.

        1. Could be. Ever had that thought that maybe you’ve committed a crime but you have hidden split personalities that are committing them and you aren’t aware? I do… Sometimes…

          1. Lol thats crazy man. On the crime part yes. We could commit a crime without even knowing about it. I’m not too sure about the multiple personalities part. There you might be on your own on that part. 😛

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