Dear Owner…

guinea pigs pets brown blackSo sorry that it has been a long time since I’ve posted anything. In short over the past few weeks, my anxiety and OCD has got much worse;  being woken up at 04:00 feeling nervous and anxious as hell for no good reason every single morning, to then mentally try to attribute it to something is as fun as it sounds. Not to mention the other feelings of anxiety that pop up and make me feel sick through-out the rest of the day.

So being tired, nervous, and generally feeling down and awful, I wasn’t quite in the mood to blog. I decided to start NaNoWriMo as well, but have only managed about 200 words so far. I get the irony that when I write I feel better, but that I need to feel better before I feel I can write anything.

Anyway, it all kinda reached a head to the point where my wife and I both decided that I couldn’t walk around like an emotionally closed off zombie any more, fun though it wasn’t it was getting all really rather old. So yesterday I had my first CBT session with a licensed therapist that will eventually untangle all the crap that’s wired incorrectly in my head. I’m not sure how long it will take but it’s a good first step.

Okaaay, well that’s enough about that let’s look at this daily prompt then.

Yesterday, your pet/baby/inanimate object could read your post. Today, they can write back (thanks for the suggestion, lifelessons!). Write a post from their point of view (or just pick any non-verbal creature/object).”

Well, I have two guinea pigs, called Harley and Cookie. Incidentally Harley is named after the Joker’s girlfriend Harley Quinn and not after the Harley Davidson motorbike. I know it’s my own fault for using a comic book reference but still,  it’s easier to explain that straight off than to continue under some misapprehension.

The picture right at the top was when we tried to weigh them.They aren’t usually as demonic looking as that, I think this is probably what they’d post about…


Hello Jim,

Sorry for posting on your blog like this but we couldn’t use your phone to text or ring you due the touch-screen not reacting to guinea pig feet, and we found it easier to push the buttons of your keyboard instead.

While I remember, and I don’t mean to pry, but why is your Internet browsing history so empty? It just struck us as odd because you’re always in here browsing the net… with the door closed… <raised eyebrow>.

It doesn’t matter I’m sure, probably some random virus that does nothing, except clear the history eh?

Anyway, we just wanted to give you a quick thanks to let you know how grateful we are for the way you look after us. You always give us more food than we actually really need, especially that dry muesli like stuff, and all those broccoli stalks. We still can’t believe that you eat that weird fluffy stuff at the top, humans are weird.

Though you don’t always give us food when we ‘meep’ for it. Remember that time, when we followed you all the way around the lawn meeping at you to feed us? You just walked back inside leaving us with the entire lawn to eat, we wanted broccoli stalks dammit.

There’s room for improvement of course, but generally speaking we’re happy with your service.

Kind regards

bad signaturesYour Guinea Pigs



4 thoughts on “Dear Owner…”

  1. nothing like waking up to a brain trying to eat itself: I’ve trained myself to get up and get alert right away, no matter how early it is, or else the brains will escalate the self consumption

    1. Yeah, I try and tie that line between not jumping out of bed straight away just in case there’s a chance that I could get back to sleep, but not stay in bed just listening to my head destroy itself for hours.

      I manage about 15 mins to usually. I’m still very tired, though. 🙂

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