Goddamn Vacuums!

Cylinder vacuum cleaner for home use.

There’s some time!

Quick, grab it!

You think you can outrun me do you; well I’ve got you now.


Sorry about that, just time getting away from me there. Don’t worry though, I beat it into submission and it’s now laying comatose in a shoe box with a rock on top of it.

So, today’s daily prompt (and I’d better be quick; the time won’t be unconscious for ever. ) is about which household task I hate the most.

Well, it’s vacuuming.

It’s not really that I dislike vacuuming, but I can say with full certainty that vacuuming doesn’t like me.

Firstly, the vacuum I have constantly static shocks me. It doesn’t shock my wife, oh no. She’s happily vacuuming away wondering what the fuss I’m making is all about. I pick it up, hoover for a few seconds, and then Fzzzzappp, it gets me.

Secondly, and presumably it’s my metabolism working with the vacuum, but I sweat, when I’m hovering, a lot. The sweat is practically dripping off me. Which only increases how generally irritated I become will hovering.

Imagine the scene, me stomping around shirt and sockless, sweating profusely, while I actively remember to ground myself on anything non-conductive nearby. Hmmm, ok, maybe not picture it exactly; I can’t afford that many analyst bills.

The thing is, neither of these phenomena occurs during any other bit of housework. I can be on my knees scrubbing a nylon covered floor with a cat, and I still don’t sweat or get shocked as much.

Maybe in a previous life, I’d somehow pissed off the spirit of vacuum cleaners, and now they seek their revenge on my damned soul.

Ah, time! It’s stirring; I don’t have long before…

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