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Goddamn Vacuums!

Cylinder vacuum cleaner for home use.

There’s some time!

Quick, grab it!

You think you can outrun me do you; well I’ve got you now.


Sorry about that, just time getting away from me there. Don’t worry though, I beat it into submission and it’s now laying comatose in a shoe box with a rock on top of it.

So, today’s daily prompt (and I’d better be quick; the time won’t be unconscious for ever. ) is about which household task I hate the most.

Well, it’s vacuuming.

It’s not really that I dislike vacuuming, but I can say with full certainty that vacuuming doesn’t like me.

Firstly, the vacuum I have constantly static shocks me. It doesn’t shock my wife, oh no. She’s happily vacuuming away wondering what the fuss I’m making is all about. I pick it up, hoover for a few seconds, and then Fzzzzappp, it gets me.

Secondly, and presumably it’s my metabolism working with the vacuum, but I sweat, when I’m hovering, a lot. The sweat is practically dripping off me. Which only increases how generally irritated I become will hovering.

Imagine the scene, me stomping around shirt and sockless, sweating profusely, while I actively remember to ground myself on anything non-conductive nearby. Hmmm, ok, maybe not picture it exactly; I can’t afford that many analyst bills.

The thing is, neither of these phenomena occurs during any other bit of housework. I can be on my knees scrubbing a nylon covered floor with a cat, and I still don’t sweat or get shocked as much.

Maybe in a previous life, I’d somehow pissed off the spirit of vacuum cleaners, and now they seek their revenge on my damned soul.

Ah, time! It’s stirring; I don’t have long before…

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I Ain’t Going Nowhere

Seascape Study with Rain Cloud (c.1824)
A glorious English summer

“If you were asked to spend a year living in a different location, where would you choose and why?”

Today’s daily prompt is pretty terrifying. For someone like me where change, should on most accounts be avoided, and where the only way I can truly relax is to be in a familiar environment, the possibility of having to spend an entire year in unfamiliar surroundings is akin to some pant-wettingly hideous nightmare.

I am completely confused, and at the same time in complete awe of people who can just up-sticks and move away to the other parts of the world. Away from their friends and family, with a new job, and a new house.

Moving away from everything you’ve ever known, and completely starting again either takes a tremendous amount of strength or having, god knows what to run away from.

I spent a week in Hamburg for my job, and it was an odd experience for me personally. Not the place, although the hotel I was staying at did have a mural of a naked woman on the bathroom wall and a book of art that seemed to make the presumption that people with young children wouldn’t be stopping there.

It was odd, because for one week I couldn’t follow my normal routine. Everything was new and unfamiliar, and it felt as if I was doing everything for the first time. Everything from the moment I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, through to the places I was eating at, my route to work, all the way through to when I put my head down on that same unfamiliar pillow at night.

The language was different, although many people in Hamburg spoke English, it was the background conversations I couldn’t understand or the small shop signs. Despite my above average grasp of the English language, my knowledge of other languages is woefully lacking, and i found myself feeling like an outsider, which of course I was in that context.

I can deal with change (deal being the operative word) as long as I have at least one familiar thing to keep my grounded to what i know and understand.

Plus, I like the UK. Well, maybe not ‘like’… I have ‘begrudging respect’… nope, not that either. Alright, I don’t particularly like the UK, but it is my home and having to move away from my home despite its many faults and reality TV shows and drizzle and political decisions that can make your eyes spin. Despite all of that stuff, it is my home and I’d miss dear old Blighty, even if it was only for a year.

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The Burning Question

Well, there’s nothing like this daily prompt to really make an anxious person sweat, but weirdly enough despite the myriad of horrible and rather unsavoury thoughts that have crossed my mind, my house being on fire isn’t one of them. Well, I’m not too proud to add more to the list.

Specifically, today’s prompt is…

“Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?”

Right, well the conditions of this prompt aren’t exactly carved in stoned but they’re pretty damn clear. It’s assumed that I will be grabbing the five items one after the other rather than running in and out of the house, so I must be able to carry all five items at once. It’s also assumed that the house isn’t salvageable, so it’s pointless worrying about items that could save the property.

So which five items have so much significance to me that I would risk burning to death in an inferno to rescue them.

Right, well item number one will be the silver pocketwatch that my wife bought me as a wedding present. For very obvious reasons, this is something that I couldn’t let get away.

Silver Pocketwatch Fobwatch

Number two is my external computer hard-drive. On that drive is all the copies of music, photos, documents etc. It’s USB so I’d just have to run in and unplug it. Photo’s are things you just can’t get back, and luckily these days you don;t always have to worry about massive photo albums.

The third item is…. erm….  you know what? I’ve been sat here for about half an hour thinking what I would want to rescue, and I don’t think there are any more items. Knowing that my wife, and to a much lesser extend, our guinea pigs are safe is pretty much everything I could hope for. I’ve got the watch and I’ve got all the music, photos and documents, everything else is replaceable.

It wouldn’t be a happy scenario to lose everything in a fire, of course not, but there are no three objects that are going to make that any better.

Can you do better than me? Can you create a list of five items, or would you simply languish with just a couple of items, like me?

Let me know.

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Too Early to Rise

Hand Alarm Clock awake sleep wokenIt’s daily prompt time, and today is all about what I have to do as soon as I get up. I’ll try and not let it devolve into a woe-is-me-situation, but the brain wants what the brain wants.

Right, so the prompt is.

“What are the things you need to do within 30 minutes of waking up to ensure your day gets off on the right foot? What happened the last time you didn’t do one of these things?”

Firstly, chances are I am up early. I leave the house for work at about 07:00 but I tend to wake up anytime between 03:30 and 05:30 at the moment. So the very first thing I do, is look at my watch and try to decide if it is worth getting up.

Often it is, because my choice is lie there in bed and let negative thoughts flood my sleep deprived mind, or get up, do something positive and do my best to stave them off. Not every day is like that of course, I do have some good days, but generally speaking it’s an early start for me.

Anyway, I’m up and I’m understandably a little bit groggy, so coffee is the next thing on the agenda. I got given a venti coffee mug a couple of Christmases ago and it is a godsend for a large instant coffee. This year I have been bought a cafetierre mug so sometimes it’s a filter coffee.

Oh, and god knows whether the coffee is the thing waking me up, it could be. It’s in a line-up of a few other things, but right now it at least brings me back to normal levels. In fact someone once said, that you should drink coffee all the time or never, otherwise you zig-zag all over the place. Which I seem to be doing anyway. Oh well.

Well, I’m awake and I’m now caffeinated or at least I  soon will be, and with work a little more than an hour or two  away, it’s time to get some gaming done.

Oh, before I go on, there might be a chance that I’m waking up just to game. Again, I don’t know if this is true, but it is within the realms of possibility.

That, my friends, fellow bloggers, and people who Google kindly brought here, is what I do within the first 30 minutes of waking up. Although this passive almost lazy approach to mornings is changing, slowly but surely.

This year, I am going to do my best to fill those mornings with practical stuff. I’ll write, I’ll exercise, I’ll do something positive. The theory being, that if I do something positive with that time, I will feel more positive with myself, and then maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop waking up so goddamn early.

What do you do in that all-important first 30 minutes…?

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Just A Perfect Day

cropped-savoypizza5.jpgToday’s daily prompt is all about how I would spend my perfect day off, and quite frankly it’s nice just to stop and think about it, especially as actually having that day off is at least weeks into the future.

“What’s your idea of a perfect day off: one during which you can quietly relax, doing nothing, or one with one fun activity lined up after the other? Tell us how you’d spend your time.”

Continue reading Just A Perfect Day

Pedantic Parodoxicary

Messy Desktop
You’ll never see this on my desktop

Aha, so Mr D. Lee Prompt you want yet another little pry into the sanctity of my home-life, eh? Well, ok, seeing as it’s you.

What’s that you say…?

“What’s messier right now — your bedroom or your computer’s desktop (or your favorite device’s home screen)? Tell us how and why it got to that state.”

Well, I’m married so I can state with confidence that both the bedroom and my desktop PC’s desktop screen are immaculately tidy.

Continue reading Pedantic Parodoxicary

An Award? Pour Moi?

Liebster AwardI love awards. No matter how may you receive you always feel just that little bit squirmy inside when you get one. It’s that whole “You love me. You really love me.” feeling. Well sitting proudly among my 100% attendance from school certificate (being 9 was a very good year) now sits the Liebster award sent to me by Angela from ‘One Life, Recorded‘.

In short, it’s nominated to people who don’t have a tremendous amount of followers. You answer some questions, add some links, meet new bloggers, and read new blogs etc. Which I think is all rather nice. Continue reading An Award? Pour Moi?