Tag Archives: Jim Franklin

Childish Arrogance

“Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell!”

Hmmm, interesting Daily Post.

Well, as arrogant as this may sound. I don’t actually remember having any difficulty with any subjects really. Well, not at Secondary School (for those across the pond, we’re talking education between 11-16 year olds, so not sure how it translates.) I found most things pretty darn easy.

Yes, I can almost sense the contempt that you’re feeling towards me, and to be quite honest, if I’d heard someone say that, I’d be feeling the same thing.

However, if I can interrupt your knife sharpening and shotgun loading for just a moment. Everything changed when I went to college (16-18, Is that High School or College?)

Anyway, because I had such little difficulty before I rather foolishly expected College to be exactly the same. I figured I could just coast through the lessons and my natural ability to perform well in tests would see me through.

Oh, how wrong I was. First test and my results smacked me around the face like a breeze-block. What the hell was wrong? I was doing exactly what I had done for the past six years. What gives?

Hmmm must be a one off. Maybe I was tired. So the next test, and the same thing happened. Ok, there is something decidedly weird going on here.

I wasted half my time there expecting the outcome to change by doing the same thing. I’m fairly certain that’s the definition of madness.

It turns out that at college (and in fact anywhere) you need to put some effort in to get good results. Who would have thought?

Luckily, I still had a year left to put some effort in, and turn around my confusing  scores of ungraded. I left college with three E’s. Which is a far cry from the A’s and B’s I was used to at Secondary School.

There was also a certain beer selling establishment that may have also contributed to the lack of good scores, yet that remains unproven.

So, there you go. The lesson to take from this, you want the results? Put the work in?

Goddamn Vacuums!

Cylinder vacuum cleaner for home use.

There’s some time!

Quick, grab it!

You think you can outrun me do you; well I’ve got you now.

(Thud)

Sorry about that, just time getting away from me there. Don’t worry though, I beat it into submission and it’s now laying comatose in a shoe box with a rock on top of it.

So, today’s daily prompt (and I’d better be quick; the time won’t be unconscious for ever. ) is about which household task I hate the most.

Well, it’s vacuuming.

It’s not really that I dislike vacuuming, but I can say with full certainty that vacuuming doesn’t like me.

Firstly, the vacuum I have constantly static shocks me. It doesn’t shock my wife, oh no. She’s happily vacuuming away wondering what the fuss I’m making is all about. I pick it up, hoover for a few seconds, and then Fzzzzappp, it gets me.

Secondly, and presumably it’s my metabolism working with the vacuum, but I sweat, when I’m hovering, a lot. The sweat is practically dripping off me. Which only increases how generally irritated I become will hovering.

Imagine the scene, me stomping around shirt and sockless, sweating profusely, while I actively remember to ground myself on anything non-conductive nearby. Hmmm, ok, maybe not picture it exactly; I can’t afford that many analyst bills.

The thing is, neither of these phenomena occurs during any other bit of housework. I can be on my knees scrubbing a nylon covered floor with a cat, and I still don’t sweat or get shocked as much.

Maybe in a previous life, I’d somehow pissed off the spirit of vacuum cleaners, and now they seek their revenge on my damned soul.

Ah, time! It’s stirring; I don’t have long before…

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Holy Crap! What a Turnaround

For those who have returned to this blog time and time again to read my endless and persistent whining about the difficulties I sometimes have in regards to work, sleeping and generally being just as fabulous as I often tend to think I’m not.

Well, over the past two weeks, it’s like someone has waved a magic wand over me. The troubles I had,  all melted away to nothing. What can I think is the reason behind this? Winning the lottery? Becoming famous? Maybe I’d found ‘The Hidden Treasure of the Sierra Madre?’ Continue reading Holy Crap! What a Turnaround

I Ain’t Going Nowhere

Seascape Study with Rain Cloud (c.1824)
A glorious English summer

“If you were asked to spend a year living in a different location, where would you choose and why?”

Today’s daily prompt is pretty terrifying. For someone like me where change, should on most accounts be avoided, and where the only way I can truly relax is to be in a familiar environment, the possibility of having to spend an entire year in unfamiliar surroundings is akin to some pant-wettingly hideous nightmare.

I am completely confused, and at the same time in complete awe of people who can just up-sticks and move away to the other parts of the world. Away from their friends and family, with a new job, and a new house.

Moving away from everything you’ve ever known, and completely starting again either takes a tremendous amount of strength or having, god knows what to run away from.

I spent a week in Hamburg for my job, and it was an odd experience for me personally. Not the place, although the hotel I was staying at did have a mural of a naked woman on the bathroom wall and a book of art that seemed to make the presumption that people with young children wouldn’t be stopping there.

It was odd, because for one week I couldn’t follow my normal routine. Everything was new and unfamiliar, and it felt as if I was doing everything for the first time. Everything from the moment I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, through to the places I was eating at, my route to work, all the way through to when I put my head down on that same unfamiliar pillow at night.

The language was different, although many people in Hamburg spoke English, it was the background conversations I couldn’t understand or the small shop signs. Despite my above average grasp of the English language, my knowledge of other languages is woefully lacking, and i found myself feeling like an outsider, which of course I was in that context.

I can deal with change (deal being the operative word) as long as I have at least one familiar thing to keep my grounded to what i know and understand.

Plus, I like the UK. Well, maybe not ‘like’… I have ‘begrudging respect’… nope, not that either. Alright, I don’t particularly like the UK, but it is my home and having to move away from my home despite its many faults and reality TV shows and drizzle and political decisions that can make your eyes spin. Despite all of that stuff, it is my home and I’d miss dear old Blighty, even if it was only for a year.

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Give me Just a Little More Time.

traffic journey commute work cars traffic jam

Right, well my plan seemed fairly simple today. Head out reasonably early, go on a half an hour bike ride and then end up at a popular branded coffee shop chain for a gorgeous cup o’ the black stuff. Where upon I would retrieve ‘yon trusty laptop’ and write a blog post about my new job and why I am so excited.

Although, now I’m sitting at the popular branded coffee shop with my gorgeous cup o’ the black stuff I find that I can’t connect to the internet. For the love of god, won’t someone think of the children.

No… internet… can’t function. Can’t… see cat videos on Youtube or see what people had for lunch on Facebook. Oh, actually that clearly doesn’t matter but it does put a bit of a crimp on blogging. Blogging not writing, so like network connections of the late nineties, this post is going to have delay of about half an hour. Or so I thought until I remembered my phone has tethering.

All that is completely unimportant and rather dull, sadly. However it was just a segway that apparently went on far longer than it should have.

Anyway, about my new job. After looking on and off for a new job for about a year and gradually becoming in more and more of a worse state, I’ve been offered a new job, and rather obviously I’ve taken it.

From a work level it is so much more suited to the way I work and what I can do, but I’m not going to really touch on that because although it is a good reason, it is only the secondary reason for why I moved.

The primary reason is time. Currently, because I can’t drive I am reliant on public transport and my journey to and from work can in the worst of journey’s take away 3 hours of my life. My new job is half an hour away.

Let’s just do the rough maths on those figures. A difference of 2 hours traveling every work day, works out at 10 hours saved a week, 40 hours saved a month, and about 500 hrs or over 20 days’ worth of my time saved over the year.

20 days! Its phenomenal when you think of it in those terms. For the neh-sayers out there who would tell me that I could never actually use all twenty hours of that time, a lot of it would be frittered away on other things. Like the ten pounds you withdraw from an ATM for a one pound item and because you have that change in your pocket it gets spent on other crap things you may not have bought if you didn’t have the change.

Is it like that? Yeah, maybe.

Ultimately the point is that my new job is a lot less demanding on my personal life. A consistent twelve-hour work day has brought on anxiety and stress which has exacerbated my insomnia, which in turn added to my anxiety and stress and so on. It’s not a viable way of working. I certainly don’t love my job to death.

In short, I just have this feeling that 2015 is going to be a bit more happy-happy-joy-joy than 2014, which in it’s own horrible and unique way was a large bucket of pigs offal with so much crap going on both personally and with friends and family that it is best buried deep, and never thought of again. Rather like Dharma & Greg in that respect.

Good News! (but don’t get your hopes up)

Homer Simpson HappyWell, Holy Crap! Don’t you just love getting good news?

Although, one of the better things about getting good news is telling everyone and although I have just had some very good news I can’t tell anyone about it for a few days. So it’s just going to eat me up inside over the next 48-72 hours.

Of course, I can still let some of my excitement out in blog posts like this, but unfortunately for you (assuming you are still reading this) it is going to be little more than excited drivel. I do apologise for this but if you are still here then it really isn’t my fault as you have been both warned and experienced some of this posts drivel nature for yourself. If you’re still reading, then you’re a glutton for punishment.

I guess, I can say that the good news is that something that has been causing me a fair amount of my anxiety and depression is changing for the better. This is of course a very good thing. I’m not expecting a miracle cure, that would be too easy, but a decent night sleep is now a lot more likely and with a rested Jim everything else can start falling into place.

So, here’s to hoping the next couple of days go smoothly and effortlessly.

Your Power is Mine mwa ha ha ha

William James Sidis photographed at his Harvar...A writer once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?

So, to answer today’s Daily Prompt I need to think about which five people I would hang around with for the sole purpose of imbuing myself an average of their collected intellects, strengths and so on. Or on the assumption that this is the same for everyone, which five people do I want to drag down to my level? No, I’m not going to think about it like that, all rather negative and so on.

First question, do I pile on my strengths to make me human-plus, or do I balance out my weaknesses to boost myself to a jack of all trades?

There also doesn’t seem to be any restrictions on how this average thing works, so the first person I’d have is Bill Gates. The chap is loaded and if there’s a chance that this average thing is going to make me billions of dollars richer, then I am going to go for that.

So Bill for his cash, easy.

Next, let’s get an injection of strength, and there is no better person than Zydrunas Savickas who was the 2014 winner of the ‘World’s Strongest Man’.

So, I’ve got strength and money, well a top up to my brains wouldn’t go amiss. It’s not desperately needed, but I’m not a genius so a few more points of IQ would be alright.

William James Sidis, who apparently had an IQ of somewhere between 250 and 300 sounds just the ticket. He did die of a cerebral haemorrhage, which I hope wasn’t related to his IQ in any way.

That’s brains, strength and cash.

Aha looks. Pfff what am I talking about, I’m gorgeous… (Just in case it’s not obvious, this is irony. J )

Looks are subjective and there’s no guarantee that an average of anyone’s looks would improve things. I might look like some kind of freaky face-merging experiment gone wrong.

So instead I’ll opt for speed and the fastest chap on the planet is Usain Bolt he’s got all the speed I need. Hopefully, some of his ability to run without looking like you’re having difficulty, might rub off on me as well. It really is laughable when I start running.

So, with cash, strength, intelligence and speed who would be the fifth person to join my little manage-a-six?

Ummmmm….

Well, there’s…. ummmmm…..

Oh, I know. I want some of Jeremy irons voice. It’s difficult to quantify of course, but if even a little bit of voice-cool rubs off from him it will be worth it.

There we go, Bill Gates, Zydrunas Savickas, William James Sidis, Usain Bolt and Jeremy Irons.

Once I’ve merged them, I can start my global domination plans.

Sorted.

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